A thought. 

So tomorrow will be the start of my yearly count down to my birthday(55 days). I know each year I do a sort of themed photo thing and I’m not sure I am gonna do it this year. For one I only have one quasi idea and I’m still debating on it…

And for two I sometimes feel like it is annoying to people and try as I might I’ll never leave the annoying tick in the backnof my head that says I am annoying and a nuisance to people. I’ve had people tell me they enjoy it too so I know not everybody thinks I am a narcissistic annoyance, but the brain can be a dick sometimes.

Anyways the idea I do have centers around body positivity, both of my own and of the movement in general. I am super into that lately (well I always am to be honest) but I have been just diving into great books and articles and human beings on the topic and I’m loving it all. And I think it might be a fun adventure for myself as well as maybe starting a conversation about it all.

But I’m just not sure. I have less than 24 hours to decide and grow the courage to commit myself to the concept, but I thought maybe I’d reach put to the Universe in general and see if I get any feedback. Does this sound like a good idea? Do you think this countdown is dumb, annoying, and self serving? Let me know, I promise no answer or comment will hurt my feelings. 


2017: About the Grow Up Not the Glow Up

One could say that 2017 has been…*deep sigh*…a year.

At least for me I know it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, what with many ups and downs and twists and turns. However in all of that I made some incredible memories that I will forever cherish and hold close to my heart, and those instances will always outweigh the bumps and bruises. However the most important part is that we survived it and even if that was the only thing we managed to do this year that is to be celebrated and seen as a win. So now as I sit on my couch waiting for the new year to begin I figured what better time to look back on my 2017 resolutions and set some for 2018.


2017 Resolutions

1. Travel to some place I’ve never been before. // Big ole check! I went to London for a week this year and it was one of the best experiences of my life.

2. Write daily. // Once again I did not accomplish this. I do well in spurts but I never manage to make it an everyday thing. But something is better than nothing and I made strides in writing this year that I haven’t in a few years, so not completely failed.

3. Spend money better. // I feel I did pretty well on this one. I cut back my spending in a few areas for sure and had less frivolous spending than I am capable of.

4. Learn to focus better. // It took some time but I eventually got to a point where I accomplished some work on this. I’ve discovered a few ways that work for me when it comes to focusing, clearing my mind, and blocking out negativity but it’s always a work in progress.

5. Be relentless. // This is another ‘I did and I didn’t’ type of resolution. In some areas I accomplished what I had in mind and in other areas I didn’t put in the effort I wanted to. It’s a learning curve and a reminder that going forward I have to make conscious efforts to push myself.

Overall though I am pretty content with my personal efforts, I’ve taken chances like traveling outside the country for the first time, applying for jobs (getting them, and then turning them down after deep consideration), and returning to NaNoWriMo. I took some control of my life in terms of physical and mental health, which was way past due but once again better late than never. I accomplished reading 50 books in one year, which I’m still sometimes surprised I managed to do, and I reconnected with people and friends I had been disconnected with (which was no one’s fault but mine). Strides were made in the face of a pretty harrowing and dissuading year of heart break and tragedy and spectacular incompetence and hate. So now we remember it all and tuck it away so we can face the new year and whatever the Universe has in store for us.

2018 Resolutions

1. Budget better. // I did well with a money related goal last year and I want to keep that up. Be more mindful of my wants versus my needs when I am buying things.

2. Make time for friends. // I had a couple moments this year with friends where I am reminded how important they are to happiness. I tend to get lost in my one mind and my introvert tendencies, and I occasionally think I am a burden and bugging people, so I just need to remember they love me and don’t think of me that way. If I have to travel to see them or just remember to keep in better contact, it’s an effort I need to make.

3. Challenge myself. // It could be picking up a new skill or just pushing myself outside my comfort zone, but I am a creature of habit and I let it take over.

4. Tackle a shelved goal. // Over the years I’ve had ideas and goals that for whatever reason I put on a shelf for later date, and I want to return to at least one.

5. Take care of myself. // Not that I’ve ever just not taken at least the most basic care of myself, but this year I’ve learned that putting things off till the last possible minute is not necessarily the best. I had to grow up in that way during the last part of 2017 and I want to embrace that and keep on top of all things, both mentally and physically.

So there we have it. I like to think that my 2017 was about the “Grow Up” and that will then allow for 2018 to be the “Glow Up” year. Did you accomplish your 2017 resolutions? Did you make any? Do you have any for 2018? Do you even believe in them or find them to be crap?

I hope you all are having a fun, safe, and comfortable New Years Eve and wish a very happy New Years to you and yours!

Oh the Books You’ll Read!

Keeping track of the amount of books I read the last two years has been an adventure all by itself. I never used to keep track or create goals for how many or what kind I’d like to read, but now that I do I am not sure I’ll ever go back to a more relaxed style of reading. I went so long reading for school and requirements that reading for pleasure fell of the map, but now that I’ve gotten back into reading because I want to it feels like coming home.

I set a goal of 45 books this year and ended up reading 50! I’m not sure exactly how I managed it between my three jobs and trying to keep a semblance of a social life, and a major travel adventure to London, but I did and instead of talk about them all in general like I did last year I put together a top ten list (along with honorable mentions and my bottom three).

Top Ten Books of 2017


Honorable Mentions


Bottom Three



And then because I am a big ole dork I decided to break down what I read by a couple different categories; Female/Male Authors (and two that were anthologies that I labeled various) and then Fiction/Non-Fiction.



But what about you guys? What books did you read this year? What were you’re favorites? Did you meet a goal you set? Did you even bother setting a goal? Any books that just were not for you? I’m always down for a good book discussion so feel free to talk my ear off about them!


Day Thirty-one: Friend


It was colder than anyone would like for Halloween, but that’s what you get for living in the Midwest. Parker could recall a few Halloween’s from her his childhood where there were multiple feet of snow on the ground so trick or treating was mostly kids in snow suits with masks or crowns on and parents miserable as ever. But that’s also why he and Beatrice had planned a costume that allowed them to wear long johns beneath their jeans and as many layers as they desired under their pastel sweatshirts.

However the large cardboard piece dangling from the chain on his neck was a bit more cumbersome than he had anticipated. It was difficult enough to cut out the half of a heart with a jagged center out of thick cardboard, but then wearing it all night, bumping into everyone and making holding a drink a task in and of itself was not as fun as the idea had been when they thought it up.

Behind him he heard some guy yell over the music to Beatrice, “What exactly are you supposed to even be?” And they had heard it enough all night that Parker knew without Beatrice even having to shout over to him, he turned and stood right next to her friend. With their hips locked to each other they took their outside hands and held up their respective cardboard heart pieces, and their jagged edges aligned perfectly. On the front for everyone to read was “Best Friends” across the now put together heart and both of them were grinning ear to ear with their pride at their costume.

The guy however seemed only moderately impressed, he gave a slow nod and a soft “oh” before back peddling away. But before they could lower their necklaces a group of girls dressed up like the Powerpuff Girls ran over and started complimenting their costume & going on and on about how they loved it. Parker caught Beatrice’s eyes and they scrunched their faces up at each other, once again so happy at their decision to do a paired costume.


Day Thirty: Wreck. 


As her leg bounced up and down on the leg of the stool it reverberated against the desk causing a sort of ‘click-click-click’ as a count down to the deadline that loomed ever near. Dasha had been gathering research and sources for this piece for over three weeks, and she knew she had collected some good stuff, but since she was forever shit at making actual outlines here she was with just hours left till her article was due and still staring at a mostly blank screen.

Normally the thrill of a deadline narrowing in on Dasha thrilled her, and made her writing more poignant, but she had felt off her game all week and now it was making her a total wreck. Looking over what she had put down already once more, then her notes again, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. When she opened her eyes again, hands already placed upon the keyboard, she just smiled and started typing as fast as her hand would allow her to keep up with her mind.  


Day Twenty-nine: Surprise 


“What if I told you that I booked us a week long get away?” Ben asked over his sky blue coffee mug.

Suzy whipped down the paper she was currently reading and gave him a wide eyed look of shock. “Say what now?”

Following her lead Ben set down his cup and repeated himself, “I booked us a week long get away, at that desert resort you’ve been looking at for months.” She gave him an even more confused look so he waved jazz hands in the air and sang, “Surprise!”

That made her lip quirk up on the left side and her eyes soften enough to let him know she wasn’t really mad. “Not that I don’t love the idea, trust me I really do, but how far in advance did you do this? So I can give work a heads up.”

He shook his head and leaned forward half way across the table with a wide grin, “All of that is already taken care of. I called Libby and got it all taken care of at work for you.” Suzy gave an impressed nod at his gumption and planning. “We leave as soon as you’re done today.”

Back when they started dating they used to take spur of the moment trips all the time, Ben thrived off of the last minute decisions and no plans kind of life, but Suzy had taken some getting used to it. She enjoyed a well thought out itinerary and scheduled adventure, but he was slowly bringing out a new side to her.

It’s been awhile since they had had been able to indulge in this sort of thing, growing up and into careers and a regularly maintained life left little room for random adventures. And after a rough couple of months for both of them at their jobs, leaving them barely any time to see each other, Ben knew they needed it. So he took a week to take up Suzy’s mantle and plan them a little get away and made sure to cover all the bases she would worry about.

A few moments of quiet passed between them and he knew she was running a mental pros and cons list and trying to make sure that there was in fact nothing that needed her immediate attention. But when she realized that if he had taken care of work then she didn’t have much else to question, so she returned a wide grin to him and said, “Then I’d say, fantastic.”


Day Twenty-eight: Burn. 

The heat should be unbearable at this close of range, but oddly enough Zeke didn’t feel much of anything. For the last few hours he bad been slowly adding page after page and picture after picture to the metal trash can before him. Year’s worth of correspondence and memories he had shares with what he thought was his best friend. But now as he sat and watched all evidence of it burn up, he felt almost more relief than total sadness. Take knew he was hurt and he was mad, but those feelings can only inhabit your body for so long before they totally take a toll. So instead of wallowing in negative feelings and thoughts he decided to be proactive and erase what he could. Get rid of it and move on to what could only be better.