P-L-A-N-S

The dreaded five letter word that every young adult fresh out of college hates to hear but can’t seem to get away from. I know that I have lost count at the amount of times I have encountered people and when they realize that I’ve recently entered “the real world” immediately ask “So what’s next? What are your plans?” The scared part of me wants to say, “Find a hole with endless amounts of Nutella and Kleenex and burrow in there for the rest of time.” Then there is the sarcastic part of me that would love to say something along the lines of, “Well I thought I’d try bumming it for as long as possible and then not utilize the degree I spent four years and tons of money earning and get some basic part-time job to just get by.” However the rational and polite part of me spews out my carefully constructed answer of, “For now I am working to make some money for loans and also saving up to eventually move out and start utilizing my degree.”

Some people are nice enough to smile and nod along and pretend they believe me but most just slightly narrow their eyes and nod like they hear it for the bold face lie that it is while inwardly thinking “This is our future?” Which okay, it’s not totally a boldface lie because that is what I want, ideally that is how my life is gonna go for the next…well I don’t know and am way to afraid to put a timeline on it in case I fail at that. I would love to have a real and concrete answer for these people, if not just for myself, but I don’t. I have dreams and ideas of what I want my “plans” to be but the fact of the matter is that I have no clue.

My mom just tried to squeeze out of me last night what I want for my future and I don’t think she realizes how completely vague and broad that is. Granted she is used to a kid who has known since she was six that she wanted to grow up to be Lois Lane, which I am still totally open to. But she is not used to this young woman who has had her horizons widened and altered once she left the small town she grew up in. In college I grew up a ton and I changed to the point where my Journalism major made less and less sense to me. It’s not that I didn’t still love the craft, but as I went through two years of courses I started to understand that this fit wasn’t quiet right. So I switched majors and declared a minor, which was hard for me and really could be a whole different blog topic in its own right.

However, after two years of really understanding more about myself and what I am passionate about I sit here four months graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in English, with a minor in LGBT/Sexualities Studies, from the University of Nebraska — Lincoln..with just the part-time job I had from high school and no plans for the immediate future. And I’ll be honest some days suck and I feel like a huge failure and like I won’t amount to anything close to what I dream of for me, but that’s life and I am not the only twenty-something that has days like that. I’ve learned to adopt the motto “one day at a time” and just remember that I’ve lived only twenty-two years of my life, which if my grandma is any indication that’s only like twenty-four percent of my life. I’ve always been that person that likes to point out the silver linings and believe in things like karma and positive thinking for others so it’d be really hypocritical of me not to do the same for myself.

So, plans? Unsure and undecided but hopeful.

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