Venting out the Nerves

Unfortunately I didn’t get an ounce of time to write or let alone think of an idea to write on and I am just so tired that I don’t want to make the effort. So instead I hope you might bear with me as I get some of the anxiety and nerves of my chest as I am realizing more and more how close November is getting.

The other day I had this just slap in the face realization that in just over a week I would be starting NaNoWriMo, I would start trying to write a novel. It’s always been a dream and I talk about it all the time but to actually be sitting down and making it a thing is…well a little scary to be honest. I know I can’t get anywhere and can’t reach a dream if all I ever do is think about it but ugh I am so afraid of failing.

I’ve always been decent at thinking up characters and a general story line for them but the whole writing the story between all of that is what I’ve always struggled with. It’s like I freeze up when I try to elongate these wisps of story and so then I just give up all together cause what’s the point if I can’t even string together a few scenes?

But the point of agreeing to do NaNoWriMo and committing myself to all that I’ve done this month is to push myself. I am not exactly sure of the direction it is leading me but at this point I just need a direction. I’ve felt lost for a while now and I just want an idea of a way I could go and if on that journey I gain some experience and growth as a writer I am all for it.

I am just really nervous I am not going to complete the challenge or gonna hate all that I come up with. All the typical things I think everyone that jumps into NaNoWriMo experience and feel right before it starts. I just wanted to get out the whining and fear now before it choked me during and made it even that harder to write and participate. So hopefully now that I’ve gotten some of this out I can get ready over the next week with less stress on my shoulders and approach the start of November with more excitement.

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