First things first; Happy Halloween! It’s weird to have my favorite holiday have to share my attention and feelings cause I am so focused on NaNo and getting ready to be in that head space for 30 days. However I didn’t want to ignore it or forget to do something I’ve been planning for a few days now. I am going to be doing the last two questions of the prep exercise later but I also wanted to take the time, and a post, to say thank you.
Thank you to everyone that has given me prompts, read these posts day in and day out…or even sporadically, to the people who put up with all my posting on my various social media, and to the people who would push or remind me not to give up. I am lucky enough to have all these people, and even just people with all these qualities, in my life. I easily would have given up a few days in and said screw it but having people expecting progress and work from me was nice to know that both someone cared and believed I could do it.
This month has been a real trip. I mean if you’ve known me for any amount of time you know that I have talked about being a writer for years, that it is my dream to be published and create characters people love but you have also probably noticed a severe lack of evidence that I am doing anything about it. Outside of academic things I haven’t shared my writing very often in life. Okay well there has been fanfiction too, and while I consider sharing that to be ballsy activity as well, that is a little less intense. You are already in a community of people who love all the characters and their worlds that you do and understand why you might want to get inside that world write your own little stories. There is a risk in it still, but the reward is given from people who understand what you just did and are likely to enjoy it just a little more.
Getting ready to finally, finally, take my own characters and own story and try to write them beyond basic plot points and little scenes in my head, into an actual novel has given me a new energy. I feel equal parts nervous as hell but also pleasantly excited which is such a nice surprise from the sheer anxiety I used to get at the idea of trying to do something that could become real in an effort to being called an actual writer. There is no guarantee that what I write for NaNo will even reach the 50,000 word count or that it will become a thing I try to edit to death and then send out in hopes of getting published or my dream of dreams become a physical book I can hold in my hands or see on a shelf.
But the idea that I will be writing something that carries all of those possibilities is completely enthralling and just an extra kick in the pants to take this seriously and make an effort. Combine that feeling with the nice hug of support I’ve received this month I can wake up tomorrow and start this journey with less stress and less negative energy. Which is so awesome.
So I wanted to extend as much gratitude and thanks as I can through my words and this blog. Especially to Glen, Lindsay, PotterPhilosophy, and the Anonymous individual who sent me prompts because to get those and have people put stories or ideas they wanted to read about in my hands really does mean a lot. To the lovely people who found my blog and commented or followed or liked certain ones, thank you too. I am trying to get better at using WordPress as more than just a blog for me to share my thoughts and as a place I can find some interesting and incredible posts as well so once NaNo is complete I plan to jump in more and expand my uses and world on WordPress. Thanks to the people who didn’t block me or complain about my constant posting of links to this blog and my attempts at writing, and if you did it behind my back or in your mental space I still am thankful you just put up with it and let me be.
I don’t know what it was about this year but I’ve come to a lot of conclusions about what I want for the future and the things I need to do to achieve them or to feel more happy and productive in myself. There is something just slightly different within myself that has pushed me to try new things and force my hand in being more public and sharing my writing. The experience of NaNo still terrifies me as well as sharing original work but this month has helped me turn that fear into a little bit of encouragement to just try. I have to stop wondering what it would be like to take the chance, to put myself out there and try to accomplish goals and actually do something.
Therefore again I say thank you to everyone that tagged along on this weird experiment journey and been so kind and positive to me. I will try to keep posting here and there during November, and back to regular updates on random topics and thoughts after, to keep improving this space and this connection I have with all sorts of people. I’ll be back later with my last bit of prep and daily writing to wrap this little adventure up and then it is on to starting the big, giant, monstrous one of National Novel Writing Month.