Monday greetings! Returning to the grind when you happen to have a majorly relaxing weekend is always the pits, but usually once you get over Monday you fall easily back into the routine. I kept thinking of things that I could make potential prompts last night as I tried to fall asleep but of course I wrote none of them down so most faded away while I slept, but one did linger. And it was more so that listening to Taylor Swifts new album 1989 (which came out today and is fantastic and you should treat your ears) brought it forward to my mind again. In the song ‘Wildest Dreams’ she has a lyric, “Nothing lasts for ever, but this is gonna take me down” and it echos the idea I had of a person being in a relationship despite knowing it isn’t going to last, and could possibly be devastating but needs to see it through.
I so often find myself drawn to writing about love that is for the most part really happy and just “mean to be” and I thought the chance to explore an unfit or possibly toxic love would be interesting. I definitely don’t want to romanticize it because that’s bad and it’s not cute to be stuck in those kinds of relationships but at the same time they occur for a reason and are sort of hurdle for someone to conquer. Ugh…I feel like I am describing this horribly. It could even just be a type of relationship that one person knows isn’t the one and so maybe being in it seems frivolous to others but it is something the individual wants to live out and experience.
Anyways. Now that I’ve been thoroughly confusing let’s just get to that writing shall we? :)
Amelia and Laurie sit at a high top table and watch as their boyfriends, Luke and Owen, playing pool across the bar. It was still early enough that the light from the setting sun was casting all sorts of intricate shadows over the tables and floor, and with the clink of another ball falling into a corner pocket Laurie turns back Amelia and asks, “So you’ve been seeing this guy for how long?”
“Month.” Amelia answers flat with a shrug of her shoulders, “Month and a half maybe?” She glances at him quickly again before focusing her electric emerald eyes back on her friend. “Honestly it’s all been a bit of a blur.” she laughs into her drink as she takes another sip of the light-colored beer.
Watching her Laurie can’t tell if it’s a giddy emotion or an unshaped lack of care in her voice. The two of them had seemed barely able to let the other go when they entered the small pub and before the guys left to go play, it felt almost like the early stages when everything is rosy and without flaws. But at the same time there was an air among them that felt almost more friendly than anything and it was hard to understand for Laurie, and that usually translated into her asking questions because she hated not understanding things. “So it’s getting serious then?”
Some sort of scoff or laugh burst from Amelia and she narrowed her eyes at her best friend before answering. “Lord no.” A raised eyebrow forces her to elaborate more, “Well for one a month or two is nowhere near enough to even consider “getting serious” for me and second,” she looks over and lifts her shoulders in another careless shrug, “And I know he’s not a long-term keeper.”
That definitely took Laurie by surprise, waving her hand in a nonsense pattern between them she asked, “You mean you’re with someone you know won’t last?”
“What’s the point then?” Her tone is somewhere between frustrated and confused, which is exactly how she feels. Amelia has never been one for relationships but Laurie had always assumed as they both got older she’d change, want to settle down.
More small laughs floated over Amelia’s glass as she shook her head and tried to answer, “Having a good time?” Laurie levels her with an increasingly annoyed stare so Amelia takes a breath and tries to give a better response, “I don’t know Laur, not every person you share a bed with or date has to be a potential life partner. Not all of us are going to be like you and Owen who met in high school and instantly know.”
Laurie frowns, she knows that nobody can be as lucky as she was with Owen but it doesn’t mean she can’t hope her best friend is on the path to discovering what she did at 17. She opens her mouth to speak but Amelia cuts her off, “I like Luke. Luke likes me. We have a good time together but when I try to envision a life with him five or more years down the road…it just doesn’t…I don’t know, mesh.”
Okay that is something Laurie can understand. There was a time when she and Owen had been away at different colleges and thought a break would be best so neither was tied down and even when she was on dates with other guys she couldn’t see them beyond a certain point. Owen was always there; at an altar with her, buying a house with her, raising kids alongside her. Nodding she gave Amelia a small smile and said, “I get it.”
A grateful nod and smile is returned and that’s enough for them to close the discussion on the topic for now. Quickly they fell into their regular catch up ways discussing various little details of their lives as they had always done since they were 13 and in the tree house Amelia’s dad built in the large oak in the families backyard.